I'm seriously..

all ughed out..
I've been talking recently to a few friends about the whole working out and getting into shape bit. I want to get into shape, I want to get off my lazy butt and make things happen and yet, here I am, still, not budging. I sometimes get so frustrated with myself. *shakes head at self* I feel like making this long list of things, or goals that I want to achieve, yet knowing myself, once I look back on it I won't see the 1st thing listed as the 1st objective. No, instead I'll look at the big picture, and just get discouraged, again, and think to myself that I'll never be able to get through each thing. It's bad that I think that way, but I do. >.> It's seriously something that I need to work on.
One of my friends sent me a link to trainers in Montreal that look kind of scary but in a good way. They look tough, they're experienced, know what they're doing and I started thinking that maybe that's just what I need. But then I started asking myself questions like "am I thinking too much about this?", "am I really ready to commit to a trainer?", "maybe I ought to get myself going before I decide on any kind of trainer or anything.."
BUT I STILL NEED THAT KICK IN THE BUTT TO GET ME GOING!!!!! *is exasperated with self* I lack motivation for things I need for myself. It's really sad, y'know? And I hate feeling sorry for myself, like "boohoohoo poor girl lacks determination..boohoo" I don't think that way, nor do I want to. The worse part is that usually I don't. Nope, but maybe I should. Maybe that might give me a bit more drive to persevere. Instead, I usually just laze around and that takes it all. I don't have to worry about anything when I'm lazing around.. except maybe my health in the long run. *siiiiigh*

This wasn't supposed to be this kind of post, I was first just thinking to myself that I ought to write down a few goals.. but well, this is what it turned into.

I'm going to try to keep things simple.

To Do List:

- go out to the post office to mail letter

- go to Canadian Tire and buy power supply with surge protection

simple enough, right? And I'll move along from there. *nods*