feeling bleh and in pain

I've been in somewhat of a rut for the past week..maybe week and a half. Dx I loathe ruts. Feeling all depressed and shit, not cool at all. I recently started attending these meetups and they're super fun and helping me to get out of the house and meet new people. It's also getting out of my comfort zone, because I'm shy right? So, it's having me reach out in a sense, and meet and talk to people. Because it's a meet up you can't go and like.. not talk to anyone xD that'd be horrible lol. But ya, so it gets me talking with people about whatever, convos flow, so it's cool. 
But, they take pics at these events and I was looking at them..and there are pics of me and it's just kind of run me down. Not sure how to explain it, but like, when I see myself in a mirror at home or like just every day, I feel fine. I know I'm not at my ideal weight, I am overweight, but I don't see myself like that. I'm not sure if anyone can understand that ha. Like I see myself, how I used to be (if I'm not looking in a mirror) before I gained all this excess weight, a mirror reminds me that I still have some work to do before I get back to that size. But pictures.. I look ginormous. One picture they took, I don't know what the heck I did, but I look like I have 3 chins... I don't have 3 chins o~o 
In one of the meetups, it was a culinary get-together and we had to wear an apron, I'm not sure if it's because of the way the apron "fits" me.. but I looked huge. So I've been plagued with images of "beached whale-me" and in all the pictures I see of myself, standing near other people, whether they're big or skinny... I feel I look ginormously fat. And then that gets me thinking, like who the f* would want a beached whale? It got so bad that I started feeling depressed..to the point where I wished I could just disappear.. not as scary as when I wanted to end my life, but similar in a way.. freaked me out just enough, I spent Monday miserable, barked at my peamate, ended the day crying. Only good thing that came out of it, was that I finally stopped putting my health on hold. The very next day, I went out, bought food - healthy food, and started exercising. So even though I still feel borderline depressed, exercising gives me an energy boost and helps me to feel better about myself. Eating healthy and also keeping tabs again on myfitnesspal.com helps me to know I'm doing something right for me, and that I'm getting proper nutrition. 

So, Tuesday I did yoga, Wednesday I did lvl 1 of the 30 day shred - I still have no clue if you're supposed to do that workout every day or not - Thursday I took a day off, only did some stretching poses from yoga, because my upper back's been in a lot of pain (moreso that usual) since last weekend. Friday I thought I'd do something different, I did lvl 1 of flat abs in 6 weeks - I know that'll never be a possibility, the flat abs in 6 weeks 'cause I've got 2 tummies to work through, but I figured it couldn't hurt because it'll still help to concentrate on my core and tone it down some. After the workout I was fine, took a bath, ate supper, then went on the sofa. Was watching a bit of tv, but was half lying down, decided I would use the tv to help me fall asleep (there's a timer on the tv so it turns off after x amount of time - where you regulate x), wanted to take a nap before my shift started, because I've lacked sleep this week and I work nights so I need to stay awake. 
I set the timer on my tv, then, still half lying down, propped up on my right elbow, I half turned to put the remote behind me on the back end of the sofa - something I've done many times - and that's when it happened. A sharp pain shot from my lower back (left side) across to my upper back (right side), the pain was enough to have me drop the remote and almost curl up. 
Right after, my upper back, along the spine killed! It was a sharp pain and wouldn't go away. It was also hurting on my right side, upper back. Sometimes, when my back is hurting, I'll go sit on my bed, with my legs hanging off and then lie back. My bed it really high, so it tends to help me stretch my back and usually it'll feel better. Sometimes it causes my back to pop or crack, sometimes the pop or crack feels good, other times it hurts like a bitch.. it's a win/lose situation but usually a win, so I try it to give me relief when the pain's too much. So, I tried it, hoping it might help.. only nothing. Nothing happened and the pain didn't subside. 
I figured maybe lying on my back on the sofa would help or if I slept it off... I couldn't sleep the pain was too much and forget being on my back.. although being on my back hurts less that if I try to lie on my side. So, no sleep before my shift. The pain seemed to migrate away from the middle of my back, towards the right side.. and no longer stayed at the top of my back but spread. from my shoulder to under my shoulder blade and still a bit lower - around to where my ribs end.. my lower back is spared - yippee! I already have a pinched nerve down there, don't need more pain applied to my lower back. 

I thought I'd be ok for my shift.. but when I started to work, when I typed or moved my mouse (I'm right-handed - mostly, can use my left hand for a lot of things but controlling a mouse isn't one of them, should practice that..) the pain was unbearable. It was shooting through my back (the right side, area mentioned in previous paragraph) and was so painful it was bringing tears to my eyes. Also, after starting my shift my right arm started hurting, obviously the shoulder (between the shoulder and neck), but also the upper part of my arm (close to the shoulder but just below it), and some of my fingers (middle and ring finger) were feeling numb..I took 2 advil that I had from when I got my wisdom teeth pulled last month, they're anti-inflamatory/muscle relaxants. Didn't help.. ugh. I still wanted to try and work through my shift because this coming Monday (the 24th) is a holiday and if you want to get it paid or have your hours banked, you need to have worked the day before.. as my shift ends Friday, I needed to work Friday to get my hours for Monday. I thought I'd be able to do it.. but the pain was horrendous and then I started feeling dizzy.. I'm taking calls and my voice is quavering because of the pain and I'm fighting back pain tears. ugh. no fun. 

And then I ended up getting on skype. My peamate wanted to go watch a movie on Tuesday.. but I'm not available. I'm not crazy about going to watch movies on a day I work, because I have to wake up before 4pm (thus not getting my 8hrs of sleep.. I *need* 8hrs of sleep to function properly), but also now, because I've made a workout and eating schedule that I want to stick by. To keep me from being depressed.. also this week, I have to go out and help my mom walk the dog.. she hurt her left arm and left side of back, so she won't be able to walk him (I hurt the right, she hurts the left.. we're really family!) 'cause my sister (owner of le doggie) is out of town for the week.. some teaching meeting thing in Montebello.. I agreed to this over 2 weeks ago, so I'm not going to cancel. I'm just going to work around it with my exercises and eating right. But ya, so anyways, I tell him that I'm busy but we can maybe do it on the Monday.. because he had told me earlier that week that Saturday was off limits as he wanted it as his day to just chill and do nothing. I respect that, so I offered Monday as well.. Sat, Sun & Mondays are my days off.. he's known this for all the time we've known each other. But Monday he can't.. he just got a bf, it's been maybe a month now. I've grown accustomed to him not going out with me as often anymore. I totes get that he wants to be with his bf, (he likes to point out he'd been single for 8yrs), so ya I totes get it. He's horny as fock lol I get that. And so I get that he wants to be with his bf. I totally accept it. But now, because Monday's a holiday, his bf'll be sleeping over Sunday night and they'll spend the day together on Monday. That's cool, but since I can't make it any other time during the week, I offered to to something next Saturday or Sunday - because next Monday I actually have to work ugh. But that wasn't good enough for him. He doesn't want to break his plans, which is fine, but expects me to break mine, so that I can go when it's convenient for him. How is that fair? 
And then, because I kept repeating myself, that "no, I'm busy on Tuesday and every other day of the week.. but because Monday I don't work, I can do what I have to do earlier and then go out with you" so he started, almost felt like he was trying to guilt trip me into changing my mind. Saying how he covered some touchy ground in therapy and how it brought up a lot of emotions and about being in a lot of stress lately and just wanting to go see a movie with me but that I didn't want to go.. and I was like.. hold up, you're twisting my words.. I never said I didn't want to go, but that I couldn't go that specific day, I had given him alternatives, I even told him why I hadn't suggested meeting on Saturday - because he wanted it as his day.. but then suggested that if he didn't mind, we could go out on Saturday after I'd go pick up pain meds. - He never asked what the pain meds were for.. I don't even think he paid attention - but he did read what I wrote because he went off on not being able to go because he wanted to work on his art and needed to send out emails and stuff. So I get it right, because he has things he wants and needs to do as well, and here I am, trying to find a convenient time for both of us, but he's totally unwilling and unbending.. and it should be me, that I give up what I'm supposed to do to appease him. 
And so, I started feeling like I was being brushed aside.. and that my feelings were also being brushed aside.. and obviously it's not something new, because I have been feeling that ever since...it's been a good while.. More so, when he started going out with his bf, they'd been friends for a while beforehand, but like.. we had made plans to go out on a Saturday (the plans were made before he started dating), but by the time that Sat came along, he'd already been dating.. and so he kept saying things like "oh why did I agree to that" and "I wish I could just cancel", it was an event I rsvped for.. and had specifically mentioned that if I rsvped I wouldn't cancel it.. and it's not like I had even asked him to attend, he had volunteered and was all gungho about it, I made sure he was absolutely certain before I rsvped. But then.. he started acting like he didn't want to go.. he was only going out of obligation.. and then decided that he would plan something with his bf for right after.. the event was supposed to last until 4:30pm.. but he made plans to meet up before then.. double booking.. I didn't mind quite as much, mainly because I was going without having slept after my shift.. and so by the time we left the even 2pm.. I had been up for over 24hrs.
But it's the weekend before, when he informed me that there was no way he'd stay until the end because he wanted to spend it with his bf.. I don't know.. it just feels like.. you're getting brushed aside.. and had we just "made plans" without an rsvp, he'd have totally just cancelled on me. 
I obviously didn't bring everything up, but I did mention it not being fair that he wanted me to cancel my plans and felt like he was brushing me aside.. 
I don't think I expected what he said next, "oh I totally am" "i'm a f* demanding prick" I just sat there. I was hoping maybe he just hadn't realized he was acting that way. 'Cause you know, sometimes you'll do or say something without thinking and it might come off as pressuring someone, but it's not what you wanted to do. But here he was, aware of what he was doing. Aware and acknowledging it! 
This is the reason he never wants to meet my sis, because he doesn't like the way she treats me.. and how she tries to manipulate me into doing things AND HE'S DOING IT RIGHT NOW AND COMPLETELY AWARE OF IT. Dx Like...WTF?!?!?!? 
I just sat there..didn't know what to say.. I had been crying for well over an hour, because the pain was too much.. but also because I felt hurt by the way he kept trying to guilt me into cancelling my plans.. I had ended up calling the office and getting the rest of the night off, I couldn't be answering calls while crying. Not sure it would be too um.. good, it's like "hi, thanks for calling emergency help line how can i assist you *bawls in your ears*" it's like the operator needs just as much help as the person who's stranded and calling for help.. uh..no. so I took the rest of the night off.
For a good while, I couldn't tell if I was crying because the pain I was feeling with the way he was talking to me hurt too much or if it was because of the pain in my shoulder and back.. I've decided it was 50/50. The hurt and the pain. 
I honestly didn't know what to say to him anymore.. and I told him that. I went on to explain how I was feeling and why I was feeling that way. And why I was busy now during the weekdays, and how the way he was going on was making me feel guilty. Yes, guilty because I was feeling that my reasons for being busy during the week, to exercise, were selfish. Because you know, it's *just* to exercise, isn't that selfish, shouldn't I be able to skip one day to go out so he can talk and get things off his chest? But at the same time, that exercise is what's been keeping me from staying in a depressed state. And I'm scared of falling back down..and what if I can't get up again? 

Again, while I was writing to him, he was like.. brushing me off.. "no it's fine.. i don't want to talk about this anymore" uh.. do you think I just "dropped it" and erased what I had been writing? uh. no. I needed to get this off my chest. and whether or not I should've justified my reasons for being busy, for me, I had to. Because I needed him to see why I wasn't budging on it. 

So, ya, we ended up working things out.. we never really found a time to go watch that movie and I'm not sure if he's 100% or even if we're 100% and maybe I am being selfish, but I'm doing it to up my morale, so it can't be all that bad.

I'm honestly SO thankful I have my therapy session later today (Sunday), because there's so much I need to cover.. I feeling so stressed it's not even funny.. and now with my back.. I don't even know if I can still exercise.. I needed a doctor's note.. so I went to the clinic on Saturday and got pain meds and anti-inflammatory meds.. and if it's not going any better.. then I have to go back for x-rays (the x-ray dept was closed by the time they saw me yesterday)..and I might have to do physio if there's something really wrong.. but I was told it might just be a sprain, so it might go away on its own. I might still be able to do yoga, as it's not anything strenuous. I'm just worried, because if I have to stop for the time being.. what's going to keep me from feeling like shit and being depressed and feeling like I'll be this big fat beached whale for the rest of my life.. I feel like I'm this big bubble of emotional unrest, about to burst into tears at the smallest nudge. 

fell off the bandwagon, then jumped back on!

October's been like.. all over the place. Not necessarily bad, but not necessarily good either. Had a momentary fall-out with my healthy eating/exercising. I know I've gained some weight, give or take 6ish lbs. I haven't reached my next weigh-in so nothing's set in stone quite yet, we'll see the verdict come Saturday. 

I don't know what I was going through exactly.. it was like I was challenging myself to gain weight... if that makes any sense.. like, I had the mentality of, or rather to quote what I said in a past post "I feel like I'm in a race with myself in how long it'll take to gain it all back..." It wasn't that I REALLY wanted to gain my weight back, it's weird.. it's like I was in a funk and I was binging. Weird because I've never really felt like that before.. that I HAVE to eat, even when I'm not hungry. 
I mean sure, I've had moments in my life where I craved ice cream and would just eat a whole pint, but that was back when I wasn't paying any attention to my weight. 

I don't know, but for October, I do know I had a lot of shit on my plate (figure of speech obviously). I stopped eating regularly, stopped eating healthy, started eating out more (which I can't really afford), and completely stopped all my exercises. Like, even the my two 10 mins breaks, where I'd normally do crunches, I stopped that altogether. -_- Definitely NOT good. 

But I decided, that I'd stop this shit. One of my friends added me as a friend on myfitnesspal (the website I've been using since May..which I lagged from using in October Dx), it kind of gave me a boost to get back on track. I had been thinking about it, but that was like, the kick in the arse that I needed (thanks Char! =3) 

Anywho, I was reading one of the updates she had.. and there was something from a post in the community forum, which I've never actually ventured on. Weird right? Me, queen of sidetracking, didn't venture off in there. But I did.. and the post was in the forum thread for the 30 day shred (Jillian Michaels). O.O Ooooo something to get me back on track! Sa-weeet! 

I needed weights for Level 1, so I decided I'd start my exercises come Monday as I was going to Can. Tire over the weekend with my peamate, so I could stock up then. 

Eventful weekend. Went out all day with my peamate, then out again on Sunday to a Toy Con and off to a mopcue (Taken 2). Lots of walking, good exercise.

Took me a while to get my butt up and at 'em yesterday (Monday). The best place for my workouts, is in my living room as there's SO much space..but I have no curtains and I get really self conscious. Hell, even with curtains, I think I'd still get self conscious. But I pressed on! I turned my lappy in a way that I wouldn't be facing my patio, so I could concentrate on things other than the outdoors and my neighbours. 

The 30 Day Shred is a good 20mins (maybe 25ish) workout. Warm ups and exercises included. It definitely takes a lot out of you. Once I was done, I didn't want to just leave it at that.. so off I went, onto the treadmill for 53mins walking at 3.6mph. Listening to my fav album helped the time pass by. 

I didn't feel it yesterday, but today...sweet mother of peal! I can tell you...my legs ooooooh my legs. THEY HUUUURT D= OH.SO.BAD. 
I can lift my knee to my chest just fine.. it's the sitting down or having to bend down *wimpers*

Going down stairs is usually a breeze, but today, it hurt more than going up stairs. ;_; I think, the walking so fast after such a vigorous workout...may not have been such a good idea on my part. T-T

Still, I am determined! My pain is not enough to get me down. I'm toughing out Level 1 for 10 days and then swapping over to Level 2 for another 10 day and then onto Level 3 for the last 10 days. Rinse repeat. 
After I finished my workout today, so dead *_* but I feel good, because I persevered! Have not given up! And will keep on going! 

*is all proud of self*

In the new year..

What's in a new year's resolution? I keep hearing people talking about it. They make goals for themselves and then drop them months in. I can't say I've ever set myself a "new year's resolution". I have set myself goals in the past though, and ya, they usually fall through. Or I'll tell myself that I won't start right away, I'll start in a bit.. and then continuously put it off. So, I seems to putz around a lot.. I'm even doing in right now. Well, not now now because I'm working, but you know what I mean.

I've decided that I'm going to challenge myself. How does this change from any other goals I've ever set for myself before? No clue. Wish I had answers, but I don't. I think all I can do is believe in myself and push myself along to keep myself on track and then hope for the best. Seeing as I don't like to get out of my comfort zone and procrastinate all the time and it also being the holiday season with LOADS of junk food at the tip of my fingertips, I figure I'll go ahead and indulge, until the end of the month.

I seriously need to start eating healthy, so there's my first "goal" for 2012. With the help of my buddy, I've been able to cut back my junk food at the movies. I'm allowed 1 bag of popcorn per month. It's a rule I set for myself, but he reminds me and makes sure I follow what I put in place.
Because I can do that, I've decided that, yes, I will continue but to it, I'll add all chocolate &/or junk food into the same "restriction". So they too will only be permitted once a month.

Another goal consists of my darn workouts!

I figure this is good for a start, after 2 months once I'm used to it, I can increase my exercise time.

twice a week for the 1st 2 months - Wed & Fri [gonna pick back up my physio exercises because I've been feeling my back weakening]

stretches & walking daily ~ 30mins. - either walks outside or on treadmill [yup, go figure, I have a treadmill IN my home and use it mostly as a cat rest.. and a dust picker-uper.. >.>]

I always, whenever deciding to "pick up" something, tell myself that if I take on too much at once I'll just give up easier. I'm going to try my best to persevere with these "goals" regardless of the amount I take on.

Next "goal", is to pick up my Korean *shakes head at self* I bought books, I have access to countless websites for self-teaching, but I've found myself always feeling "too tired" to start anything. [I still need to get a dictionary, I'm on it!!]

My guitar, which I've yet to tune... I want to start learning. I'm debating, do I tackle that one on my own.. or do I ask my uncle? It would give me a reason to go see him every so often. He lives out in the boonies now, so I don't see him (ever) but I do miss him *nods*

Driving lessons! Something I've constantly been putting off for YEARS!! I need to find a place that's certified with the new system and also not in the middle of nowhere. Ugh.

Japanese. I don't want to give it up, but it's been in the "standstill" for too long. I need to decide what I want to do with it. Do I continue? Do I enrol in another class? Do I continue on my own?

There are obviously things I need to figure out still, but the ones that are certain are logged in and I'm kicking myself to follow through with.

In the languages department (Korean/Japanese).. anyone care to help me?? =3

So...

I got to "Day 4" that was good.. right? *sigh* I'll be getting back into the roll of things come Saturday morning (so technically, today). I've been blahed out and completely drained of energy this week.. Had to go into the office on Wednesday so I didn't exercise the day before as I knew I had to sleep as much as possible as I had to not only head to the office for my shift but had a condo meeting. Which basically meant I had to get up earlier and not really sleep as much as possible. Coming back from work Thursday morning my head was all spinny so again I didn't do anything and just went to bed. Today, or rather yesterday (Friday) I was just plain lazy. -_- Still, throughout it all I managed to loose a few pounds. 192.something (my brain fails me..still 2 lbs down is good *nods*) I have been eating healthier, so maybe that's what helped. And while I did eat pizza, it wasn't a chemical induced store bought one, instead it was homemade from scratch with healthy ingredients. OK ok fiine pepperoni isn't really healthy, but it's not a pizza without it! Still, it lasted me a good 3 days.. It was ginormous! I've also been making veggie stir-fry with vermicelli noodles nom nom nom soo good! But yes, anyhoo.. I'll be heading into the office yet again come Tuesday =_= I seriously hope they finish the work on the stoopid phone lines soon, because it'd be pure bliss to not have to come in on Tuesday and also because it's EXTREMELY BORING working at the office as there's NADA to do! D8 I dread having to go it -_-

Anywhoo, leaving all that aside! Here I am stuck in one of those oober slowly paced days, where the time barely seems to change. It's almost as though the time has stopped and here I am growing old but not going anywhere. I guess it doesn't help that I'm hot and my head it pounding. I just wish my shift would be over and done with or at the very least that 5am would roll around becaue I want to take a 1hr nap! I won't be able to sleep much if any after I'm done my shift. I intend to work out for a good hour, by which time it'll probably be close to 8:30am and I need to head downtown to meet Raine. We'll be watch Harry Potter tomorrow morning as my bff Chris is graduating on Monday and I had promised to go ^^ I'm sure by the time I come back Saturday afternoon/evening I'll be a walking zombie =___= but I'm sure I'll have fun while I'm out! I think that's why I'm so looking forward to my workout in the morning. Because I know it'll give me a boost for the rest of the day. Or at least for a few hours. I'll have to sleep Saturday, that's for sure. Yet, I'm also waiting on a pattern to arrive. Crochet pattern I just ordered. I had no previous intend on ordering anything as I had started to follow a pattern I have in an amigurumi book. You'd think these patterns, being published in a book and all, would've been tested out.. but alas, such is not the case. It's a good thing I didn't pay much for the book and I'm hoping it's only the one pattern that isn't complete. I'm making an animal, and you'd assume being the size it is that it shouldn't be hard to include all the steps but nooo.. they give enough instruction to kind of make a body, but no head -_- I thought maybe I made an error, so I stopped and started again from scratch. Nothing, no head, no shape of head, nada. Pattern for ears and tail, wonderful! But unless the pictures they included were not meant to show what the finished product would be, the only thing I could do is "patch" the ears and tail to the one sausage looking body with not head >.> I'm not amused. It's fine though, thankfully I was able to find the same type of animal but a much cuter version. Delivery is by email, good thing too as Canada Post is on strike! D8 And it should arrive 24hrs after payment is received. So, hopefully by tomorrow I should get it. I'll be able to work on it Sunday morning and give it to her on Monday. I hope things work out *nods*

Alrighty, well, I'm off for now.

Laterz,

^^

I'm seriously..

all ughed out..
I've been talking recently to a few friends about the whole working out and getting into shape bit. I want to get into shape, I want to get off my lazy butt and make things happen and yet, here I am, still, not budging. I sometimes get so frustrated with myself. *shakes head at self* I feel like making this long list of things, or goals that I want to achieve, yet knowing myself, once I look back on it I won't see the 1st thing listed as the 1st objective. No, instead I'll look at the big picture, and just get discouraged, again, and think to myself that I'll never be able to get through each thing. It's bad that I think that way, but I do. >.> It's seriously something that I need to work on.
One of my friends sent me a link to trainers in Montreal that look kind of scary but in a good way. They look tough, they're experienced, know what they're doing and I started thinking that maybe that's just what I need. But then I started asking myself questions like "am I thinking too much about this?", "am I really ready to commit to a trainer?", "maybe I ought to get myself going before I decide on any kind of trainer or anything.."
BUT I STILL NEED THAT KICK IN THE BUTT TO GET ME GOING!!!!! *is exasperated with self* I lack motivation for things I need for myself. It's really sad, y'know? And I hate feeling sorry for myself, like "boohoohoo poor girl lacks determination..boohoo" I don't think that way, nor do I want to. The worse part is that usually I don't. Nope, but maybe I should. Maybe that might give me a bit more drive to persevere. Instead, I usually just laze around and that takes it all. I don't have to worry about anything when I'm lazing around.. except maybe my health in the long run. *siiiiigh*

This wasn't supposed to be this kind of post, I was first just thinking to myself that I ought to write down a few goals.. but well, this is what it turned into.

I'm going to try to keep things simple.

To Do List:

- go out to the post office to mail letter

- go to Canadian Tire and buy power supply with surge protection

simple enough, right? And I'll move along from there. *nods*

oh the weather outside is FRIGHTFUL!!

So it's been a while since my last entry. I can't say I've been up to much. Took a little break from everything as I took on my very first crochet project.... making a penguin pillow for my best friend, it's still in the making 'cuz i got frustrated on the feet and kinda just put it aside. I'll probably pick it back up this weekend.

What did I do during all that inactive crochet time you ask? Well, I submerged myself in Korean dramas.. what bliss! It helped that I had a little more than 1 full week off from work, I got all that much more viewing in ^_^

Here are some on the movies & series I watched, as well as my take on them...

starting with movies:

A Wolf's Temptation - (fun, action, saaad but good)

He Was Cool - (aka The Guy was Cool - cute, funny, kinda corny)

Innocent Steps - (cute, dance, w Moon Geun-yeong)

Jenny, Juno - (cute, similar to "Juno" but they keep the baby)

Marrying the Mafia - Movie (comedy, cute)

My Boss, My Hero - (strange, stupid, w action)

My Sassy Girl - (awersome, cute & funny, little sad; romantic comedy)

My Tutor Friend - (funny, cute)

Please Teach Me English (very cute, funny, romantic comedy, me like ^_^)

S Diary (cute, funny, me gots mixed feeling ending)

She's on Duty (action, comedy not too funny but cute w Gong Yoo)

The Classic - (lovely heartwarming, soooo sad, happy ending yet soo sad) ** fav

Windstruck - (soo sad, but hehe ending, must watch after My Sassy Girl to get ending lol)

100 Days With Mr Arrogant - (cute, very funny)


and the series I watched:

Sweet 18 (cute, funny, tearjerker)

The Painter of the Wind (heartwrenching, tearjerking beautiful movie, sad end) **fav


so, umm, yeah I guess I've been kinda busy lol being the new form of couch potato, instead of watching tv I watch kdramas on ze interwebs ^_^ but really... what else can I do when it's FREEZING outside!!

I've also recently (as of the new year) started to do some exercises.
Really, I should've never stopped.. had to do physio a few years back 'cuz I had injured my back when I fell on the snow & ice covered sidewalks (stupid mayor couldn't be bothered to put sand on streets & sidewalks).. not fun, also one of the reasons I now hate going outdoors when there's snow.
So, yeah, they had given me exercises to do and told me to continue even after my physio was over because if I gain weight I'll always have back pains grrrr and these exercises help to strengthen my back muscles and kinda firm me tummy up...
I slacked, then I altogether stopped.. I've since gained some weight back and recently my back started hurting again. *exasperated sigh* So there you have it, my reason for starting up my exercises again.. I know I have to start walking more as well, but with there being snow out there I'm not partial to the idea of doing that and I don't have the money to go to a gym... unless anyone knows of a workout gym that's free? Anyone? Oh! and it'd have to be in the Montreal area.