so long little one, so long..

I have some things I'm firm upon but then for most other things, I'm so easily swayed.

When did it all begin? When did I start to not finish my tasks at hand? I'm the type of person who doesn't feel satisfied 'till I'm fully done what I'm doing. I'm the type who needs to get things done in completion. So, when did I start to lag? When did I start to drop projects half-way???

The problem is, this isn't something recent.. it's been going on for a few years now. I've noticed it before but never really thought about it until today.

Where did it all begin? At first I thought it was during my Aikido course.. but it's further than that. Can it really all be related to that time period I try my best not to remember? To that time where all I knew crumbled around me? To the time when I was crushed yet felt I had no where to turn to? To that time where I was in the lowest of lows unable to move up and just let everything around crumble without giving a care to anything?

From before that time, I know there were still times I may have slacked some, but I felt guilty somewhat and given the chance I'd give it another go. From that time on however, there was no guilt... just regrets. Oh! I wish I'd have continued! Why did I stop? *shrugs* Oh well.. maybe I'll take it up later or I'll go tomorrow... only tomorrow never comes and later becomes never.

I thought I had fixed things from that time.
Is it really fixed? How is something like that fixable? It's not something I want to get depressed about. Not something that'll take over my life and run it. No, for that is done. It's gone. I can't take back what I've lost. I can't continue on from then. But I can start anew. I can pick up what I've let drop and press on.

You can't change someone else. You can't even change yourself, unless the want is there. Then you can change. Small things, I've already changed. Medium things are next on my plate.. then will come the big ones ^_^

So, a list of things I want to pick up, take care of, make and do.

- get permit
- exercise daily
- clean house once a week
- laundry once a week
- make own meals
- dust/sweep
- learn Japanese
- work on voice acting
- learn flash programming
- lose weight/tone up
- learn Korean
- renew passport
- pay bills on time
- refund the brick
- save for Cali
- talk to Chris about Cali/summer
- go to Matane
- buy mic/stand
- buy desktop
- finish penguin

Now, of these things.. maybe not so much the order of importance as they're all important in their own ways but more in the order of things that need to be done sooner rather than later..

- get permit
- work on voice acting
- exercise daily
- lose weight/tone up
- renew passport
- save for Cali

- buy mic/stand
- buy desktop

- clean house once a week
- laundry once a week
- make own meals
- dust/sweep

- learn flash programming
- learn Japanese
- learn Korean

- pay bills on time
- refund the brick

- talk to Chris about Cali/summer
- go to Matane
- finish penguin


so there it be..
in what concerns exercising daily... it is to be in the early mornings
I'll be trying to keep tabs on myself in regards to what I eat and the exercise I do.

I'll write more soon but I'll be going now.. sooo tired!