ne?

Seems I'm always writing when I feel like shit... really wish I'd change that.. but here I am again, and I guess to some extent this helps to relieve the turmoil within me..

I've been struggling with myself for the past week.. another stoopid choice, another stoopid outcome... forced to make a decision I didn't feel ready to take. ugh. Is that what's bothering me? Somewhat, I'm sure.

But forget that for now.. what else is eating me away? Or more importantly, what am I eating away at? Anything and everything I can get my hands on.. pathetic, really. How hard have I worked to lose weight? And now I feel like I'm in a race with myself in how long it'll take to gain it all back... Ok, I don't reeeally want to gain it back. Not really. Just hitting a low hasn't helped.. and then my bestie hates me.. that never helps, right?

I'm upset at myself, with myself.. I had SO much I wanted to do today. Had to do.
haha guess someone somewhere is trying to relieve me of my stress.. I was starting to say that I had So much stuff I had to do today, but that now I was scared of going out and actually doing any of it.. because I was scared I'd miss my ups package..and just as I was about to write that.. I got a call, door code.. guess who? UPS no less. So, it's noon and I'm now freeee to do what I must! Yipee!!

Definitely helped to relieve some stress... now I can go and start what I needed to do.. part of my day is gone but I can work with what I have left.